Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Self Reliance

Enjoy discussing the article and Emerson's "Self-Reliance"; remember that you're aiming to participate thoughtfully and frequently, and bring in textual passages when possible.

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a question for everyone, kind of like a poll.
Does anyone have a parent who is really involved in any aspect of your life? Or are neither of your parents intrusive with what you do?

Kalyn K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
aaronw said...

My parents aren't very intrusive

AllisonS said...

Maddie,

Ugh I wish my paretns would chill out about school

aaronw said...

they check grades but that's it

KelseyL said...

I found this quote in "Self-Reliance" and I thought that it related really well to "Putting Parents In Their Place" "It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it"
It's kind of like our parents think that they know what is best for us and exactly what we should do with our life and they won't stop until they have achieved it.

ErinO said...

Hey Anyone,
I understand that its a tad annoying that parents are so involved, but doesn't it just show that they really care. I'd rather have my dad wasting ten minutes a day before I paly a volley game or head to practice. I think it's nice.

catem said...

I think that the more control the parents have over their children creates a greater sense of false happiness.

AllisonS said...

erin,

When it hits the point when you can't just sit without someone yelling your name and asking what your doing, thats where it gets obsesive

Anonymous said...

My parents just trust me that I'm doing fine but some of my friend's parents are just ridiculous. They have the kids call them before they go anywhere and check their grades like every single day. With what the inner circle is saying about success, I have this friend whose parents push her to do all these things and she misses out on having fun in high school.

Kalyn K said...

Maddie- my parents aren't REALLY invovled in any aspect of my life. they will give me input but won't overwhelm me with their opinion

maddisonm said...

Kalynk- I think it has to be a balance, parents need to make sure their kid is on the right path and they need to be there to give advice, but they need to leave room for their child to grow and become an individual. If they are too involved, their kid is going to have a hard time in college, but then if they are not involved at all, then they kid could start to not care about school.

rachelseverson said...

My parents aren't really that involved, like they'll help me when I need it, but otherwise they don't really intrude. I'm actually pretty grateful for this - does anyone wish their parents were more involved?

catem said...

Erin~I think there is a fine line between healthy involvement and obsessive involvement.

ErinO said...

Hey Maddie,
My parents are extraordinarily involved in my volleyball career, but not that much. They tend to leave me alone during tourneyments and powers, but they are involved. And I completely understand why.

Also Hey Nicole,
Do your parents really do that; make sure you get a certain grade? My parents think I'm just me and as long as I remain me, they are fine with it.

RayS said...

Kelsea I agree, they tell us we have to listento them as long as we live under thier roof, but what they say might not always be the best for you.

maddisonm said...

catem- how so?

kristinah said...

I think that there is a certain point were parents do have to be involved because it is perfectly normal for them to want to know what you are doing, when you are going, how school is and stuff like that no matter how annoying it is to us. They want to make sure we know that they care about our safety and our success.

Anonymous said...

Erin- It's nice having your parents care about how you are and what you are doing, but sometimes, they can take it too far. We are almost adults and we do need to learn to take care of ourselves.

Alyssa S. said...

Rachel- my parents do the same thing. And I appreciate it, but I also kind of feel like it puts a pressure on us, to do well without their help.

aaronw said...

KELSEY! i did that same quote too! Wow!...
but ya that is a good quote for this article

RayS said...

Cat~ I sort of agree, it's not really a false happiness more as it is just unhappiness that the child doesn't have his own life under his control,

Anonymous said...

What age would you say you started becoming self-reliant? When did you start doing things for yourself?

ErinO said...

Hey Allison,
I guess I have never experienced that. I mean, when I get yelled at and bombared by my folks, it is because I did something wrong. I believe that they have ever right to do whatever they want when I do something wrong, so I never oppose thier yelling.

Kalyn K said...

Okay this may seem a tad random but it's going off what Maddison just said in the inner circle. How many of you guys have had a parent complete a project for you?

kristinah said...

I think that in someways the situation with your parents is what shapes your morals because I know with me the situations my pa presses upon me made me develop what I personally think instead of following what he says for me to think.

AllisonS said...

erin,

Well in my family my parents check my grades every day and i have to call in and check with them before everything so its sotra a very controled life

RayS said...

Were do you think the line between caring about a child/caring what is going on in thier life and taking control and living thier life for them.

ErinO said...

Hey Everyone,
My parents are laxidazical (that's spelled wrong). I mean they don't micromanage. I have never experienced this so called "fine-line". It's jsut the way my parents are.

catem said...

maddisonm~ I think that you will never be happy if you were always pleasing your parents like Nicole said. They have dreams for you and if you reach those goals they feel happy, but your goals might not be the same as your parents which makes you unhappy.

ErinO said...

Hey Everyone,
Does anyone here not really have micromanaging parents?

Anonymous said...

Kayln- Funny story. My mom never ever ever did a project for me and she would always make me do it for myself. In second grade, she was there with me at our science fair. My project was obviously made by a second grader and my good friend in class had her mom make her entire project. It looked great. I was so mad at my mom for not helping me make mine look pretty, and I cried. I always think of that story when I see parents doing projects for their kids.

kristinah said...

Erino- I dont really! Just a little lol :-) They let me have my independance mostly.

Alyssa S. said...

To go with what Kristina is saying, what makes you more self- reliant, very involved parents, or parents that aren't involved?

Alyssa S. said...

To go with what Kristina is saying, what makes you more self- reliant, very involved parents, or parents that aren't involved?

RayS said...

Collage...Collage will determine my job which will determine my futre...thats the way i think...

maddisonm said...

going off Mrs.Leclaire's question-- what is your motivation? I know mine is purely college.

Anonymous said...

My primary motivation for succeeding in school is for college. I want to get into a good college to get a good job. But I think a lot of that has been ingrained in my mind from a young age. Everyone knows good college = good job, even if college isn't your thing.

Alyssa S. said...

Mrs. Leclaire- I think when I was younger the driving force was just my parents telling me what to do. However, as I got older, it became more of my own want to get to into the college of my choice, and knowing that I need to succeed now, in order to succeed as much as I can later.

catem said...

I agree with Dennis, I think that the future is my primary reason for doing well in school.

RayS said...

I have a question...Why do you listen to your parents?

AllisonS said...

Ray

Well won't you get yelled at and grounded and all that?

catherinec said...

My motivation is definitely college also, but then again I feel like I have to have good grades and take honors classes just to set a good example for my younger brothers and please my parents. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I was actually failing a class....

rachelseverson said...

I'm motivated by me - I want to do the best I can. If I didn't work hard in school I would feel like I'm wasting something important to my future that I could be good at. I don't think my parents would really care if I wasn't in honors classes.
I can totally relate to what Maddy is saying - I take pride in doing things for myself and not really relying on anyone.

ErinO said...

Hey Coach,
I am in these classes because I want to learn. Unlike what Dennis says, it's only partial about future lives. To me, it's about me, personally, and my sister. I love to learn, and I love to beat my sister in acedemic achievement. It's not the best motivation, but I know what I want, and I want to challegne myslef. The normal classes are just too boring for me. I'd rather get a B in something challenging, than an easy A in something that makes me fall asleep. I guess it's about personal preference though. And Allison, to answer your question, I would go to school even if my parent's didn't make me.

RayS said...

allison~ well if you don't listen to them it doesnt matter if they yell or groung you, you can just ignore them and do what you want

aaronw said...

i'd say college is a big part of it, but i also want to learn. it sounds nerdy but i really want to learn. but that comes hand in hand with college bcuz you learn even more in college. i want to do music school and there is a college in London called the Royal College of Music that i would love to go to. but i need good grades as well as musical talent. so it's both learning and college. i also feel like it is a privalege to go to school, seeing some schools aren't safe (Haiti school collapse) or aren't there at all (like Africa). so everyone who hates school, WE'RE LUCKY.

kristinah said...

I would say learning is a huge part of it for me, I love knowing a bunch of different things and learning new stuff. I guess achievement is also a huge part of it though because I wont settle for anything under an A, I cant stand Bs or anything lower. I would say that it is like that for most people though because who doesnt want to achieve and do well. It makes you feel good and makes you feel happy or at least it does for me:-).

AllisonS said...

Ray

Haha that's funny, they would kill me and I would never have a social life again = ]

Alyssa S. said...

Ray- I listen to them just because they are the ones that have always taught me a lot of what I need to know, but once I got older, I learned that there is things that I need to teach myself, that they can't teach me. So I've started not listening to my parents as much. I also think that part of the reason everyone listens to their parents so much, is because we all want our parent's approval.

maddisonm said...

Just recently I got mad at my mom for not making a big decision for me. When I finally made the decision I looked back and was really glad that my mom did not make the decision for me. I could feel good about the decision because it came from me. However, my mom and dad where there for me to help guide me, which really helps. Like I said before IT IS ALL A BALANCE!

Anonymous said...

Aaron- Haha, I love your whole "there are kids starving in Africa" point. But I agree, we are very lucky to be able to learn to this degree in comparetively this nice of a place.

ErinO said...

"It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it."
-Self Reliance

This is my favorite quote from Self Reliance
This is what my dad told me when I was little, of course in his own words. He told me basically to follow my own path. I love this line.

catem said...

I really like this quote from Self-Reliance,"A man relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace." I think this is applicable to what we have been talking about, because it's saying the only way to reach self satisfaction is through independence.

aaronw said...

well maddie it's true. i might complain about homework while kids there are hiding during a war, wishing for something like a school bcuz they'd be away from the war.

Kalyn K said...

Erin O- I totally agree with you about the grades thing. I would rather have a B in a tough class than an A in a super easy class

catherinec said...

Ironically, my mom brings school into our home. Recently, I showed some disobedience and she made me write a sentence 50 times so I would learn from it. I literally felt like I was in elementary school again.

ErinO said...

Kalyn,
Good GOD! This is making me ugh about upcoming college!! Self Reliance. Well, if you think about it, You are never fully Self Reliant. You are always depending on someone aren't you?

Anonymous said...

The line Dennis just read about living in solitude by your own standards, I thought of Into The Wild the second I read that. Chris lived how he wanted to and he died happy. It was hard to live alone but it was what he wanted.

Alyssa S. said...

Catherine- I find that crossing the line. Not necessarily because they brought school into the home, but because it almost seems like they are knocking you down, so you feel like you are in elementary school again, which isn't right. If we are going to be punished, it should at least apply to us at our age.